Things I'll never say...

It's the minutest of things in life that matter the most to me, you know. Your little gestures deeply touch my heart. The way you...

..Cup my head with your palm in reaction to my frequent frowns.

..Stroke the back of my fingers with yours, casually.

..Hold my shoulder gently and pull me towards you until I rest on your chest.

It hypnotizes me. Overwelms me to the core.
I wonder how I will digest all the happiness that still awaits us.
The joy of your company.. The pride of being yours.. The sense of being one with you forever...

For Eternity

As I close my eyes, those memories run past my head - loud and clear. It was the last trip before we said a goodbye to our college life. I sat on the last seat, singing my favorite song. And our entire group faced me, smiling in unison. But she looked away, out of the window, at the hills approaching us. She knew I was singing for her. My feelings had always betrayed me, finding their way out through my eyes. And that's why she chose to look away.

Its weird. The petite little girl sitting there, who claimed to be my closest friend, was in that moment a complete stranger. For I could hardly guess what was going on in her heart. She was superb at keeping her feelings to herself. Did she savor my voice? Or did she want to run away? These thoughts kept running through my mind for the rest of the journey, as I stared at her from the corners of my eyes.

Near the picnic spot, I found the perfect moment. She was sitting beside me, leaning on the rock, looking at the beautiful sunset. We were alone. Probably our friends had understood that I wanted them to disappear. Of course, as I have already mentioned, it wasn't tricky to read my thoughts.

Kannu. I started.

I want to tell you something. I looked into her eyes and my voice began to choke.

Probably, you already know, but I just wish to say it once you know. It's been suffocating me. I hope you wont take me wrong.. Umm.. And I really hope this won't hurt our friendship... I, uh...

And she placed her fingers on my lips, as her eyes moistened and a tiny droplet of tear rolled down. My world froze there for a second. A second that lasted for eternity.

She looked incredibly beautiful. Her long tresses sparkled beneath the dusking sky. Her dark eyes pierced through my heart. And her fragrance filled my entire being. Yes, that second probably lasted for eternity.

You don't need to say it Alok.

She gathered her breaking composure. For these 5 years, I had never seen her so emotional. But the thought of separation had unnerved everyone alike.

I love you too!

She slowly withdrew her fingers from my lips. And I kissed her. Beneath the dusking sky.. For another eternal moment..

Not long ago...

Even today my gaze goes down when I think about him; my lips curl up.

And those moments fall right before my eyes. His stereotypical questions and my well-expected answers. We had discovered our destiny in those meaningless formal talks. Then followed the celebrations and the preparations. Our secret hideaways amid the crowds. His fingertips on mine. The sensation of those elementary contacts. The joys of first rains. The zenith of euphoria that we reached together. Social and financial. Emotional and physical.

And an ugly storm took it all away. It left between us huge, permanent gaps. Gaps that we could not even try to fill. But did we have a choice?

Years passed by. He moved on. Lived those firsts with someone else.

And here I lie, alone. Yet again reliving the moments spent with him. Savoring the memories of his essence. Hoping to see a different climax to this story in my next lives.