Dreaming of you - Truly Madly Deeply

Since always, my existence revolved around dreams. Dreams of you. Dreams of a happy me. Dreams of our togetherness.

I never lamented my imperfect looks and plump frame. I knew that one day I would feel beautiful. The day you would lay your eyes upon me. The day you would touch me.

I spent countless nights painting your picture in the canvas of my mind. The outcome was always something abstract. Something blurred, that was a treat to look at - Your deep and intense sight that longed for me. Your lips that ever stayed silent. Your warm arms, ready to embrace me.

I watched Serendipitys and If onlys and Titanics. I enjoyed Bryan Adams and Celine Dions. I devoured Gone with the winds and Love in the time of choleras. And I burned candles in the lonely nights.

I relished every moment in your anticipation. I am only waiting for you to pull me out of my pseudo world. And sing close to my ears:

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do..
I will be strong I will be faithful
'Cos I'm counting on
A new beginning.
A reason for living.
A deeper meaning.

I want to stand with you on a mountain.
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever.
Until the sky falls down on me...

My apprehension

It's been months since I saw you. And I know I will wait months to see you again.

With each passing moment, I can see our souls distancing further. But the chain that ties our hearts keeps getting stronger. Tied to this chain, we have now begun to bleed. And when we get to talk, it's only those wounds that shape our discussions. No more hasty dreams. No more imaginary moments of solitude. Romance is a thing of the past.

Sometimes I wonder when our lives will move again. Will the distances between us grow enough to separate us? Or will the strength of our bond help fill all the gaps?

And if we do get back to each other, will our hearts bear anything more than the pain that we embraced in the name of love? Will our affair retain the same flavor that it possessed at it's conception? Will that old spark reignite?