I wonder

None of those relationships has stayed till date. We were all kids, after all. Had I too committed to you 10 years ago, would we still be together???

What would have our relationship been like, I wonder!

You would be mad about my looks. I would be crazy about your personality.
You would admire my ballet spins. I would be a fan of your Tennis shots.
You would adore my cute sketches. I would love your poetic verses.
You would be irritated by my mood swings.I would be frustrated with your insensitive attitude.
You would hate my juvenile talks. I would detest your adult jokes.
You would abuse me for my little crushes. I would call you names for your lewd attitude.

Woahh..I probably was correct with my instincts. It would have been really sad to associate my first crush with pain. :P

An auroral dusk

Do you vaguely remember??

Sitting drenched and soiled on the beach, you captured your restless heart, and offered it to me for a lifetime. And I remember, how I playfully blew it away. But then, our smiles, gestures and silences shared a strong and clear communication. Like they had an eternal connection! You knew that I was only giving wings to your heart, hoping to dive myself to follow it.

The moment

Pain had always been a part of me. But now I could see solace in my sorrow. Right after the biggest turmoil of my life had subsided. Only when I had no one left: to dream of, to smile with or to cry for.

You came to me as a cloud to the desert. But I wondered if I were hallucinating. I feared if you were only a fragment of my imagination; if you would fade away with time like the previous dreams. But unlike ever before, I blurted everything in front of you. My pain, my anxiety, my fears and my hope. You listened to all that silently.
And I cried days for losing my self-control. I cried for having become so vulnerable and unreasonable before someone as insensitive as you seemed to be.
But that was the last wave of pain in my life. Minutes before leaving the city, you eased out everything. Your eyes, so deep, just held me captive and spellbound. I couldn't breathe, let alone move, for a long while. Probably that was the first time someone looked at me with such intensity. You words still echo in my mind (as clear as the dialogues of my childhood favorite DDLJ).

You remember I told you I have a crush on someone.
It's you.

And the train, almost melodramatically, entered the scene whistling, putting a pause to the moment that had barely started.

If you ask me one incident that I would remember for eternity, it would be this one for sure. The moment that stole all my insecurity. Forever.

How crazy can you get in the matters of the heart??

Would it sound strange if I confess that one of the small reasons (and perhaps the first one) behind I choosing this college, so far from my home, was the reliance on your casual word that you intended to join a university in that geographical location? Not that I hoped to bump into you in the train some time.. Not that I imagined accidently meeting you.. I only wished to be physically near you. As if some invisible strings would keep you tied to me.

I agree - Heart sucks big time. It blindfolds your mind and sadistically enjoys when you fall into emotional pits. And when you look back, it accompanies the mind in mocking at those crazy decisions!!